How many red flags do you need in order to save yourself?
By Hedda Muskat
Are you so infatuated with the new person in your life who’s so good looking that you’ve become blinded by their mask of beauty? The kind of person who says all the right things to you to draw you in and then does something so utterly cruel that you start making excuses for their bad behavior? A true narcissist is so brilliant at overdoing the compliments and making you feel like you’re the most important person in the world then instantly can slam your self-respect to the ground with over-the-top flirting with the waitress. If you call them on it, they will quickly make it seem like you’re the paranoid one. Here are some narcissistic behavioral traits that should open your eyes so you can make informed decisions from your head and not your heart:
1. Obsessed with perfection.
Narcissists like their outer appearance to mirror perfect images they see in magazines. This often involves micromanaging your own appearance. They’ll often make their partners feel like they should be striving to reach their imagined idea of perfection from the hairclip in your hair to how you tie your shoelaces.
2. They steer the conversation toward themselves.
It doesn’t matter what you just told them about you, narcissists can easily make it about themselves. They seek out praise and validation from others and are drawn to flattery to support their colossal self-opinions.
3. It’s never their fault.
This is particularly hard to deal with in romantic relationships because it’s essential to be able to work through problems with your partner. Since narcissists don’t believe they’re at fault in disagreements and misunderstandings, enticing a sincere apology out of them is difficult. They’ll argue in such a way that causes you to feel guilty even though they’re actually at fault.
People are drawn to narcissists because they are charming and extremely charismatic. If you start feeling uncomfortable or belittled it may be time to get the heck out.
Hedda Muskat is the author of “The Dating Mystique” based on her TV writing days at “Love Connection.”